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Camera Phone (2012) – Movie Review

Camera Phone (2012) - Movie Review

It’s that time of the month I’m afraid guys – time to name and shame a lackluster toad of a film…

I tried to hold off sticking this one up on the site, but now I’ve just got to the point where I want to get it out of the way, and move on.

Okay…

We’ve got a Found Footage effort called Camera Phone which was put together for an estimated $10,000 by director and writer Eddie Brown Jr.

To be brutally honest – I’ve got no idea what they spent the $10,000 on…

The Plot

On March 20, 2010 there was a party at a building in Orange County. That night, there was a 911 call that has been filed as ‘unknown’ and the case was hidden from the public. The events that took place are unsolved and there are no suspects. But, all of these events were captured on electronic devices. The police have put together the footage to figure out what happened. The events you are about to experience will shock and disturb you.

Hmmmm…

I love that line at the end of the film bio…

“The events you are about to experience will shock and disturb you…”

Well disturb, no…but shock, yes.

I was shocked from about the 4th minute onward (the film runs for a total of 80 minutes).

The first few actors that popped onto my screen were okay – not exactly Hollywood greats, but they passed the average test.

Suddenly it’s a female character’s turn to talk to the camera (don’t ask me the character name – this is the point where I gave up taking notes!)…

It was one of those ‘hmmm….’ moments.

You know that feeling that creeps up the back of your neck when the film you are watching starts to descend into a shit-heap?

Yeah – that kinda hmmm…

Okay that was bad…but we move onto the next scene…so the film may well improve…

Oh dear.

Well, the next scene involved some sort of techie security guy talking to a camera, that suddenly ends with him turning to his right and saying “What was that?”.

Now, I watched this under headphones with the volume turned up…there was no noise.

Nope – not even a crew member making a creaking sound in the background.

It’s just an actor turning around suddenly with a worried look on his face saying “What was that?”.

At this point I started laughing…but not in a good way.

Conclusion

Okay, don’t really want to spend my Sunday slagging off a Found Footage film, but, I have little choice with this one.

It’s an indie effort, granted, but it’s not a good one.

It’s not really paranormal or threatening in any way…unless you find a strange dude creeping around on all fours to film girls, creepy?

I didn’t.

The movie is pieced together from CCTV footage and camera phone footage (obviously).

On a cinematic level – it’s pretty poor.

As far as the plot goes…

Hmmm…

Well it’s not my fault – nothing of real note takes place!

I suppose that guy crawling around is something that stands out…but not in a good or memorable way.

The worst thing about all this is that I checked into the film’s recent progress before I wrote this – it’s something I usually do to get some extra information on indie features.

Turns out they’ve only gone and released a sequel, in 2016, aptly named Camera Phone 2.

Before you ask, NO – I’m not fucking sitting through that one!

Chris

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