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Monkey Farm (2017) – Movie Review

Monkey Farm (2017) - Movie Review

First things first – sorry for the silence over the last week or so, I’ve been watching plenty of Found Footage offerings, and I’ve got a huge list to get up on here…but I haven’t been able to find any spare time whatsoever recently (everything that could have gone wrong – has gone wrong!).

Anyway, I’m back on the case now…

This movie was suggested to me by another regular to this site, and yet again I’ve forgotten who it was!

I had passed over the film a couple of times on Putlocker, but the the title ‘Monkey Farm’ plus the dodgy demonic monkey cover kinda put me off trying it (looked like shite!).

Anyway, on top of that – I didn’t realize it was a Found Footage offering.

It’s written an directed by a dude named Ian Messenger, and it had a total budget of about $10,000…

I guess you already know where I’m going with this…

The Plot

An exploration of what happens when human curiosity and animal rage collide. This low-budget, high-concept thriller presents a different kind of antagonist, and the same well-meaning-but-doomed kids you love to cheer for as they meet their grisly ends.

Here We Go…

Okay, I wish I could say that Monkey Farm manages to avoid many of the traps of both low budget filmmaking and indie found footage movies…But instead it seems to hit every fucking one!

Once you walk into a Found Footage project and realize that the acting, and general delivery of each and every line, is about 1 second out…the movie’s just about finished for you!

I have to be blatantly honest here – The dialog was terrible, the script was awful, and the acting was completely frightening (not in a good way!).

I continuously came across lines in the script that would never be spoken in real life – it’s as if the filmmaking team went out of their way to pick unnaturally strange lines/responses…for no apparent reason!

I really am sorry if anyone directly linked to the movie is reading this – I don’t go out of my way to be mean…but I really would advise you NOT to read on (seriously, this review doesn’t get any better for you!).

Conclusion

Don’t – just don’t.

That’s about as far as I can go without being a right shit-bag on this movie.

I don’t really know where some of these filmmakers are coming from – has someone told them that they have a talent?

Has someone suggested that the Found Footage genre is a cash cow that’s easy to break into?

The cinematography is not terrible – but it’s not that great either…unfortunately the effects are pretty lame overall.

The ‘build’ of the film seems abnormally long, leading to a lot of location shooting. We all know what that means – an hour of sitting through bullshit before the 15 minutes of horror finally kick in for a conclusion to the movie.

I appreciate indie titles in this genre, but only when they are well thought out and actually planned…instead of ad-libbed (poorly).

A handy hint for wannabe independent horror movie directors – if the first few scenes suck ass, don’t waste any more of your parent’s money on the project!

Scrap it, and start again.

Chris

4 Comments

  1. Concept was very cool to me, executed by a bunch of shit actors and directors. I was hanging on for dear life that the monkey costume would be decent, and I’m pretty sure I have that costume somewhere from Halloween fml. On another note thank you for all your hard work my wife and I watch horror movies almost as a hobby, and you’ve provided us with some of the funniest(because I throw a shit fest here and there when you say it’s laughable) and the best (aka Savageland/Phoenix Tapes Forgotten 97). There is a suggestion I have but it is very and I mean very extreme. It’s called Project Miranda, a lot of taboo stuff in there so I’m not sure if you’re down to watch something that messed up. Also The Devil’s Weekend was amazing but another one of those extreme horrors. Email me if you’d like I will gladly hook you up.

    • These sound good Mike!
      Also, great to hear you get so much use out of the site – cheers for using us! 🙂
      Check out the new review that went up today – The Devil’s Doorway (it’s worth watching!)

  2. it’s great to get reviews on films before watching them and although some movie ideas are good, they are not exactly executed correctly.

    This tends to happen more often than not in the Found Footage genre, unfortunately. 

    I am just going on your review here, but what made the acting so bad? Was it just the script or the actor’s skill sets?

    • Hi Darren,

      Well, both really – the actors sucked ass and were completely unnatural, and the script was written by a 12 year old. 

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