Well considering this review is going to be as negative as possible I thought I’d better fill up some space by wishing you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year ( better late than never right? ).
I have struggled to find any sort of spare time over the last couple of weeks so apologies to those who are still waiting for replies to personal messages and website comments etc.
Now, back to this bag of shit that I had to sit through the other night ( don’t expect Shakespeare today guys – I’m only publishing this review to warn you! ).
The film is set on Halloween night of 2004 when five Canadian filmmakers set out on a supernatural expedition to film a documentary on a T.B asylum.
Anyway, turns out it was a pretty stupid idea and they obviously hadn’t watched Grave Encounters – F##ked up stuff starts happening and one of them ends up missing.
The bio of the film would have you believe that this is based on true events but I’m more inclined to believe in Santa Claus ( Spoiler Alert! ).
Well, Well, Well…
F##k me some people really do have too much time on their hands – that’s the only explanation I can find for this film.
The 107 minutes ( yes it really was that f##king long! ) I had to sit through managed to ruin my whole festive vibe.
For the first time EVER I am struggling on what direction to go with this review, where to start and with what?
I’m a Found Footage aficionado – you all know that by now and I try my best to find the good in even the lowest budget of offerings.
This just takes the piss though – it gives the genre a horrendously bad name and I really do feel for the actors who took part in this ( if you can call them actors! ).
The script seemed to be made up or based on expletives…and I have no idea why?
I know gangs of teenage kids in London that have better manners than this lot…and I have no idea why the characters were cast this way?
I think this was probably the first horror film I have come across that managed to have NO SCARY SCENES WHATSOEVER!
That’s right – a 107 minute long horror title that was about as frightening as Bambi!
Well f##k me that was a waste of time, money, breath, air, effort and whatever else you can think of!
I found out this morning that the film had a budget of $30,000…I have no idea what they spent that money on ( I’m guessing the director has a serious crack habit! ).
I’m actually getting more and more annoyed the further I go into this review so I’m gonna call it quits and let you lot decide ( if you haven’t already! ).
If you are thinking of watching this maybe consider doing one of the following daft activities instead:
- Skin yourself then jump into a barrel full of salt
- Walk around Holland wearing a Nazi uniform
- Pour neat bleach into your eyes
- Stare directly at the sun for 8 hours
Produce, direct and promote your own chilling horror film with real-world advice from award-winning, independent producer/director Danny Draven – CLICK HERE