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The Vatican Exorcisms ( 2013 ) – Avoid Like The Plague

 

The Vatican Exorcisms ( 2013 )

I’m afraid I’ve got a bit of a rotten egg here for you today but at least you don’t have to sit through an hour and ten minutes of it ( like I did! ).

The Vatican Exorcisms seems to have gathered all the worst elements of the Found Footage genre and stuffed it into it’s story line. If I was you I’d stop reading now and go onto the next review but for the purposes of this site, I’m afraid I have to continue…

A Waste of Space

I actually came across this Found Footage movie in a Google+ horror film community where it received a half decent reception from a member – I’ve now blocked that member!

This was crap – real shit with no direction, production values or story!

As always, I was quite excited to come across a Found Footage offering I knew nothing about beforehand but this excitement was short lived.

I should of known I was onto a stinker within the first five minutes when I was introduced to the lead ‘character’ of the film. He is a rather poor and unbelievable Italian guy who struggles through the movie with broken English.

To be honest I think the movie would of worked better in Italian with English subtitles as 90% of the cast were Italian/European anyway.

The whole thing seemed sketchy at best and quite strained – not one of the conversations seemed natural in any way, shape or form.

The Plot

What plot?

Oh alright then, I’ll give it a go…

We have this weak Italian character who is off to the Vatican to film a documentary on Exorcisms within the catholic church.

None of this is at any point original so I’ll try and get through it as quickly as possible!

He doesn’t believe in any of this paranormal crap so he’s pretty laid back through the early stages of the documentary. After an extremely boring thirty minutes or so the crew end up filming a Vatican priest performing an exorcism on a nun.

This is where things speed up a little bit…thank god!

During this exorcism the nun somehow burns the arm of our lead character with her demon touch. From this point onward our Italian friend starts to exhibit some very strange behavior.

I’d love to go deeper into the plot of the film but I’m afraid that’s it – it’s as flat as a pancake from start to finish.

Conclusion

It was a proper struggle trying to write about this film as it sucked on so many levels. The acting was pretty bad, the cinematography was very poor, the plot was overdone and plastic and the ‘occult’ side of the film was laughable at best.

They did actually try to film a ‘realistic’ exorcism scene near the end by using a contortionist but this ended up a complete mess as well. To be honest I was in stitches laughing at most of the scenes in this film.

I really don’t want to be cruel but I’m afraid this is the reason people are getting sick of the Found Footage genre. It’s not just a camcorder and a thin story line – horror needs a lot more added ingredients to work!

One of the worst films I have seen in this genre – best to stay well clear of this one!

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Chris

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