The Plan (2017) – Movie Review

The Plan (2017) - Movie Review

Well, what an absolute fucking mess this was – shocking!

Sorry to start the whole thing off with such a negative vibe, but this film moves into a new territory of complete gash. I’m actually struggling for a starting point to the whole thing, because it was near enough torture to watch.

Anyway, if you want to find out more read on…(But if you have better things to do, like watching paint dry, be my guest!).

The Plot

Five college friends have a reunion in a castle in Piemonte, Italy. The local legend says the queen of the castle, Johanna of Anjou, was blamed for the local drought and famine. Before she was hung by the villagers, she placed a curse in her journal then killed herself. The group is intrigued by the legend, and one night when drunk, they enter the forbidden room where Joanna died. There, they find her journal. The spirit of Joanna returns, and her thirst for revenge is horrific.

I’m Lost…

It’s quite funny really – the only time I had any sort of idea what was going on in this movie, was when I copied and pasted the plot I left above. Seriously, it was THAT staggered!

Okay let’s start with that – the reason behind this confused mess…

European actors opting to speak English.

Now, I’m not having a go here – I’m not some sort of Nazi that hates foreign countries, far from it. I actually studied in Europe when I was 21.

My problem here is that English was definitely NOT the second language of these actors…to be honest, I don’t even think it was their third language!

This is why the plot line failed so miserably – I couldn’t understand what they were rabbling on about. When tempers flared, and they started talking louder and faster – it all became a bit of a mush.

Sure, I could figure out the odd word and sentence here and there, but that didn’t really help me get a grasp on what the fuck each character was aiming for. It just seemed to be a group of Europeans in a holiday home, with a cursed book, and some sort of spirit named Joanna.


[Deep Breath]

I feel pretty mean about this, but I couldn’t really find any positives in the setup of this Found Footage project. I kinda got the feeling they wrote the script, and the plot, on the back of a cigarette packet.

The actors might have been half decent actors – but I guess we’ll never know because they were performing in a language they were not comfortable with.

At times it was really hard to keep a straight face, and that made me feel pretty shallow, but it did end up being unintentionally funny in certain scenes.

Sometimes the cinematography and the general camera work can save a movie – not the case here.

Sometimes the CGI and general FX can save a film – not the case here.

Sometimes the zero budget can be overlooked because of a fresh and inventive script – not the case here.

Sometimes you just want to put your head through a TV screen, just to stop the movie from running – DEFINITELY the case here!

I don’t like having to be so negative about a Found Footage film, but it often happens on this site (unfortunately). This was piss poor from start to finish, and I’m amazed it even made it to the online streaming sites…

One to cross off the list.


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